Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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