when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize