He uses pillows to masturbate.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
