D3 body, D1 cock
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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