I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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