Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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