i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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