Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
