How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
