ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
