So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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