Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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