Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
