there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
