i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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