shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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