respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
