How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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