I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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