I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
