Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
