I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
