HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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