he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
