Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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