it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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