He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
