Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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