Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize