not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I think I won the penis lottery.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
How naked do you want me to be?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
