I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
