the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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