Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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