I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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