Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
