god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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