y did u give ur computer a hand job?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
