Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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