I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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