just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
