Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
