Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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