apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
