There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
