Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
