I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
