She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
