What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I would ride that face into the sunset
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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