Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
