he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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