I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
