I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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