so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
