whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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