my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
