I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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