what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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