i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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