found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Randomize
