Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
