Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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