Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i drank out of a bidet.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
