I wish my penis had an off switch
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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