hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
